Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i drank out of a bidet.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
