I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
