and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
