doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
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So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
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also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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