I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize