Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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