actually, I'm a sock model
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
