mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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