i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
