Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
