Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
