you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
