Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
