just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
