that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
