Do vagina's smell?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
