Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
