I just made out with a guy for $7.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
