i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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