you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize