Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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