I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
