When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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