I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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