worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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