Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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