you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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