You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
