btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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