Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
