Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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