i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i just google imaged poop.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
