The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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