Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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