Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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