What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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