So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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