how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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