im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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