Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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