she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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