I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
