There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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