Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
