Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
