I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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