Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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