eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
