i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
