Midget sex pt 2 tonight
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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