this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Maybe he injected his testicle?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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