yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
