Who did Billy Mays play for?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
