Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
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