Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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