if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Say something about gay babies.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Actions speak louder than pants.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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