when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
