He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize