he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize