apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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