Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
